Unveiled secrets. Truly yours...
Assalamualaikum and/or good morning/afternoon/evening to everyone who made it to my blog. I'm very honored and pleased for your willingness to come here. Thank you very much.
As I would say, miraculously this isn't my first blog. Really. I've made a couple of blogs before but they are nowhere to be seen (I'm not very good with html codes.. I screwed most of my previous blog until they looked like some books written by an illiterate person...Get the idea? So much of being an IT student~). Hmm there are many things I would like to write down. I think I'll start with being concern to your friends.
There was this one time when a friend gave me a message that she's going to consult a specialist for her health problems. I'll call her Kay for a referrential reason. So Kay told me this and that (I don't intend to tell you the particulars.. I'm sorry) and I think she did the right move. I mean if you have a problem, go and meet someone who you can really rely on to help you.. not forgetting God too. With people of high experience and skills, I'm 80% sure if not solved, your burdens will be lessen to a reasonable weight.
After a while, another friend of ours, Tee, asked me if anything was wrong with Kay because she seemed unreachable throughout any possible communication media. Considering that Tee and Kay are somewhat good friends from my hazy eyes, I uncovered the truth before Tee's nose. She was really shocked like a frozen dead hen on a pole (ok² I'm exaggerating this to a great length) upon hearing the real story of Kay but it was somewhat expected because she didn't have a single clue about Kay's problem.
I raised my eyebrows. How couldn't Tee know about this? My curiosity began to expand. Does anyone really know what's going on with Kay? Didn't she tell anyone except me? As a potential future CNN reporter (credits to Ayuni Safira for proposing me the job), I wrote something personal but could be read by anyone in the internet just to tell how Kay is doing and what is she doing at the moment.
Soon after, disaster echoed towards me. I got a message from Kay, shooting all her fiery anger at my mobile phone. She told me her problem was to be a secret and it wasn't funny to be in her situation. And i was like "what the hell? when did i say it was funny?" and so blablabla. The climax arrived when she said that she thought i could be trusted and she was all wrong. Just all wrong. That was truly the deepest cut i've experienced in my new life as an undergraduate. And I didn't even know the whole story should be kept in a black box. She didn't tell me a single thing about keeping the story beyond everybody's reach. I'm not pointing out who is to be blamed as I'm precisely sure most of it came from me. There are more painful things to be said but I rather keep them at bay.
I was just trying to be concern I told her. Then she replied me with a sharp answer: she needs some time to be alone. She doesn't want anyone else to come into her life and try to fix it for her. Hmm i was startled for I also have been living with the same idea of acquiring some time to be alone just for myself. I guess everyone needs it. You need those "isolated" times to give a thought about yourself... well at least I do. Maybe you can obtain something more. Who will ever know if it is not you yourself who search for it. As for now I've intruded her privacy and worse, I've polluted her personal needs. Some points to ponder:
After a while, another friend of ours, Tee, asked me if anything was wrong with Kay because she seemed unreachable throughout any possible communication media. Considering that Tee and Kay are somewhat good friends from my hazy eyes, I uncovered the truth before Tee's nose. She was really shocked like a frozen dead hen on a pole (ok² I'm exaggerating this to a great length) upon hearing the real story of Kay but it was somewhat expected because she didn't have a single clue about Kay's problem.
I raised my eyebrows. How couldn't Tee know about this? My curiosity began to expand. Does anyone really know what's going on with Kay? Didn't she tell anyone except me? As a potential future CNN reporter (credits to Ayuni Safira for proposing me the job), I wrote something personal but could be read by anyone in the internet just to tell how Kay is doing and what is she doing at the moment.
Soon after, disaster echoed towards me. I got a message from Kay, shooting all her fiery anger at my mobile phone. She told me her problem was to be a secret and it wasn't funny to be in her situation. And i was like "what the hell? when did i say it was funny?" and so blablabla. The climax arrived when she said that she thought i could be trusted and she was all wrong. Just all wrong. That was truly the deepest cut i've experienced in my new life as an undergraduate. And I didn't even know the whole story should be kept in a black box. She didn't tell me a single thing about keeping the story beyond everybody's reach. I'm not pointing out who is to be blamed as I'm precisely sure most of it came from me. There are more painful things to be said but I rather keep them at bay.
I was just trying to be concern I told her. Then she replied me with a sharp answer: she needs some time to be alone. She doesn't want anyone else to come into her life and try to fix it for her. Hmm i was startled for I also have been living with the same idea of acquiring some time to be alone just for myself. I guess everyone needs it. You need those "isolated" times to give a thought about yourself... well at least I do. Maybe you can obtain something more. Who will ever know if it is not you yourself who search for it. As for now I've intruded her privacy and worse, I've polluted her personal needs. Some points to ponder:
- How should we know how and when to give our hands regarding to people who are close to us, provided if there isn't any clue given...
- Does it really help if we try to live on our own?? The idea is none of us wants to be a living island. Maybe there are some exceptions but are they firm enough to be valid? Perhaps they do or perhaps they don't...
- What does true friendship mean anyway? To understand discreetly one's feeling or intention without ever telling? Mind-boggling telepathic i would say...
- Hands over hands... Does it really matter? Don't you ever weep once they are forever gone from your lives. Good things are mostly for short terms only.
I don't think it's that hard to answer those questions. But have it ever crossed your mind that simple acts will eventually lead us to bigger consequences. Try to think of flamboyant acts. Quite interesting right? Ok enough of preaching. InsyaAllah I'll write more. Hmm it's really an unexplainable pleasure when you are able to convey your story/thoughts/ideas etc your own way. Simply amazing. I guess I'll stop here. I'm going for my usual nasi lemak, read some news, watch my neighbor's daughters dancing infront of their house and pull the blanket up to my nose for a sleep. Oh man how I love my life haha. Till then, goodbye and have a glorious day.
p/s - Try and hear Incubus - Pantomime (Search for live versions ie: Live in Red Rocks, concerts etc. The studio version is not that great in my opinion). Figurative lyrics. Ground-shaking tunes. And yes girls, your ever-beautiful Brandon Boyd plays the guitar for this song...
-killing people with my charms-
posted by Jed Sulaiman at 8:45 AM
2 Comments:
you should know when and how to keep a friend's secret. that's what a real friend for. not that i'm saying u r not a true friend, but people can make mistake. learn from it and be a better friend. i believe you have the quality, only need to be polished and make it shine. no hard feeling, ok? not preaching here too, only my point of view. anyway, i read ur entry till the end, and i think if people think it's just too long to be read, they are just some mofo lazy reader. don't read anything a**hole, don't even come here if you just wanna see some countable letters in the pages.
weih bojed, taruk aa sekalik link ke site aku. hahaha. nice page. learn html.
-katak-
hey there..well,it's been quite a while since my last sharp-swearing-nasty-sarcastic sms to u.heheh.nway,thanks for dedicating one whole blog entry to that stupid incident.that's very thoughtful of you,really.u know what..few days later i felt really bad doing this to u.i really wanna call n apologise but didnt have the guts to do so.i don't know.maybe i was afraid of ur reaction then.are u mad?upset or anythin?i'm really sorry..i truly am.not supposed to do that.just havin' a lil' bit of 'me n myself' time,that's it.i took back all those words.u didnt deserve all these.i was too busy thinking bout myself but i neglected bout others.it happened several times in my life but as long as i remembered,i did asked for forgiveness.well,'katak' was right,people make mistake.i've once told u i can't never be mad at u and i really mean it.it just happened when a friend being selfish n in this case,it was me.u r a great friend n i have no regret knowing u.ko maapkan aku tak nih?uhuhuuu..denda la pape je asalkan ko maapkan aku.hukhuk.by the way,i dont regret spending some time alone.wandering around da big city,observing other ppl.being anonymous and a loner.it's exciting,can't wait to tell u all.hahah.it has ups n downs tho~sometimes i wanna play a big role to save the world,sometimes i just wanna stay unnoticed n end up standing in the lrt with tears rolling down my cheeks,thinking whether i could be alive until tomorrow n do all the unfinished business.thought.thought.thought.a lot of it.this is the 1st time i lead my own life n not otherwise.it's hard,some ppl might say,but screw 'em all.i luv every single thing.the good n the bad.now i'm ready to face the world again.n tomorrow nite i'm goin' to da prom!not dressed up like a deadly gothic,but a vintage babe.purple and glitter n glitter everywhere.nanti aku kasi pic okeh?
eh,what am i doing typing up to this length?helping u write a blog entry ke ape..haha.dah ah.ciao.yeyey esok aku jadi awek cun~dont fall for me.lalala~
u should read this bestselling novel,
"p/s:i love u" by cecilia ahern
i got a lot of inspiration from it.
p/s:i love u,beruang gendut
-kay-
(haiya,where did this come from?kay..euww geli geli yucks)
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